Category: Random Thoughts

90 days of no drinking

The end of 2019 I started seeing a trend with drinking and I didn’t like how it was making me feel or what I saw it do to others. Now I didn’t drink much but had 5-6 drinks per week. I had gained weight not just from drinking the empty calories, but by making poor food choices along with the drinking.

I was going to go the month of January without alcohol. What surprised me was the will power it took. It is so engrained in our lives that it is what you do at the end of a bad day, how you celebrate good news, a way to pass time… The month of January was a battle to try and not drink, which really worried me.

This got me to doing some research and a friend had used a program called No Beer One Year. It is program run from Scotland and its members are mainly in the UK, but they have an online program. I signed up for 90 days, not knowing what I got myself into. The group chats have been really scary, with people talking about drinking bottles of wine or 8-10 pints nightly (it made me realize I didn’t drink much at all). But it has taught me to change my habits. When I have a bad day at work, going to the gym or for a run makes me feel better. I have lost 10 lb this year so far just by making these changes.

I have to say I am finally feeling better and so much stronger. I don’t have any desire to drink and I have managed several social and work events without drinking! Below is an excerpt from one of our daily emails.

The biggest challenge with creating any positive change in your life is breaking old habits… it’s no different when you’re trying to stop the drink.

Maybe it’s resisting the glass of red that calms your stress levels after work, or trying to avoid the weekend binge that leaves you feeling slow and sluggish.

Just removing alcohol from your cupboards and fridges isn’t going to have a lasting effect. It’s more of a cover up and thats why the majority of people cave in to their temptations so quickly.

The real key is to break those old habits and create new, more powerful ones… rewire your whole relationship with drink so it is no longer a crutch to you.

Not giving it up forever, but regaining control over how and why you consume it

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Doing Nothing

I subscribe to a becoming minimalist newsletter and this mornings really hit home. I think most people could benefit from a do nothing day. Below is an excerpt from the email:

Doing nothing. The mere thought gives you a sudden twitch, right?

Me too, my friend, but despite the twitch, I would like to make a proposal: for one day out of each week, you do absolutely nothing. This doesn’t mean you don’t go anywhere, or just sit on your couch and stare at the wall. It means, simply, that you clear your calendar and make space for what could happen.

You remove any social obligations, you let projects sit idle, you turn off your notifications, and you simply take a day to just be.

Recently I heard someone say if you want to see where your priorities really lie, look at two things: your calendar and your bank statement.

If you believe your priorities are what truly matters to you, look no further than those two places to confirm or deny your hunch.

The “Do Nothing” Day

Let’s do an experiment. Take a look at your calendar, and take an inventory with me. How much of it is work related? How much of it is spent in social engagements? With family? Doing hobbies? Self improvement?

And how much white space do you see?

We have become a culture that is severely uncomfortable with white space. We don’t like being left alone with ourselves, and that’s because it’s not always fun.

We then have to face our true feelings, our negative emotions, our relational drama, and figure out what to do with it. It is much easier to simply turn on the TV, check our phones, and continue numbing.

We are terrified of silence, of nothing on the agenda—who are we without these things to hold us up, to give us significance?

We pack our schedules full, hoping that will keep us from stopping long enough to notice our inner lives are in great need of attention. The essence of simplifying your life is recognizing you have intrinsic value by simply being.

You matter, your life matters, and you have worth. Period.

You matter without the stuff, without the outside approval and conferred significance, without the career, the projects, the friends, without anything.

Just. You.

It takes the absence of an agenda to really learn yourself. It takes quiet. It takes room. It takes time. But everything in the world is going to fight you for it.

Learning to be comfortable with a “do nothing” day isn’t going to come easily. It is hard work, but it is work worth doing.

So today, look at your calendar. What can you say no to, just this time around? If there is a colored notification on each day, which of those can you clear out? Which day can hold some white space, some possibility, some openness?

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5 regrets of the dying

I know this is an odd post to put up on my birthday, but there is a great blog I read called Becoming Minimalist.  I thought that this blog had some good points as we all get so busy in life.  I think the top 5 posts would apply to most people.

Eventually, in a book about the experience, she would distinctly identify “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.” They are:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so much.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

To read the full blog click here.

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10 Important Career Lessons Most People Learn Too Late In Life

I read a great article this morning written by Bernard Marr:

Keep your head down and your nose to the grindstone. That’s what a lot of us were taught to believe about work. But is it really the best strategy?

I find that people often take this sort of advice to heart — and then learn too late in their careers that there’s more to life (and success) than just keeping busy.

I’ve gathered up my top 10 lessons you should take to heart now, before it’s too late!

  1. Life is short. Here’s the thing: Life is too short to put up with a job you hate, a boss who demeans you, or a company with no soul. Many people convince themselves that they can put up with a job or career situation that makes them unhappy because they need the income, because they don’t know if they can find another job, or for some other reason. But the truth is none of us knows how long we have on this earth, and spending too much of it in a bad situation will only make you miserable and regretful. If you’re in this situation, take a step today — no matter how small — toward a better situation.
  2. Social networks matter. You might think that networking events are dull, that it’s boring to chat with coworkers around the watercooler, or that you’re simply a born introvert, but study after study confirms that social networks are vital to our success. In fact, the most successful people tend to have the broadest and most diverse social networks. The more time and effort you put into nurturing your social networks, the more successful you are likely to be.
  3. Sacrificing your health for success or wealth isn’t worth it. Many driven, successful people have a hard time creating work/life balance and can end up burning out or developing serious health problems from stress and overwork. The truth is, it’s much easier to stay healthy than to heal from a problem or disease — and no amount of success or money can replace your health. Don’t take your health for granted and take steps to mitigate stress that could cause problems later.
  4. None of the best moments of your life will take place looking at a screen. In our connected world, it’s tempting to let all the little screens we have access to dictate our lives. But you’ll never reach the end of your life wishing you’d spent more time checking email on your phone. Disconnect regularly and experience real life.
  5. Never stop learning. With the rate at which technologies are changing today, if you decide that you are “done” learning, you will be left behind within a matter of years, if not sooner. The idea that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks is blatantly false, and you will never wake up and regret having invested in your mind by learning something new.
  6. Diversify. Hand in hand with learning, if you stick to only doing what you know, or what you are good at, you may quickly find that you’re only good at one thing. We need to be agile, nimble, and interested in many different things. Otherwise, you could get stuck in a job or career you don’t love, or that goes with the times. Think of the taxi driver threatened by Uber or the customer service person replaced by a chatbot. 
  7. You can go fast alone, but you can go farther together. In other words, teamwork makes the dream work. Many people claim they don’t like to work in teams, but the ability to work well in teams is vital if you want to succeed. The idea of the solo auteur is a myth; every big idea needs a team to make it happen.
  8. Worrying doesn’t achieve anything. The antidote to fear and anxiety is action and hustle. If you’re wasting time because you’re afraid to pursue an idea, speak up, or are worried what others will think of you, you won’t achieve your goals. If you push through the worry and the fear, however, and take action, you’ll almost always find that you were worried about nothing.
  9. Failure is not an end. If you give up when you fail, you’ll never learn anything. Instead, look at failure as an opportunity, as the beginning of a new journey. If you do, you’re much more likely to try again and succeed at something else.
  10. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So many people put off their happiness; they think, “I’ll be happy when I get that job, when I lose that weight, when I’m in a relationship, when I’m out of a relationship…” and so on. But we can choose to be happy. Happiness is a habit and a choice. No matter what your situation, if you can approach it with an attitude of happiness, you will be more successful.
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January

I can’t believe that January is almost over.  I don’t know where the month has gone as it seems like just yesterday it was Christmas.  So much has happened this month sometimes it is hard to take it all in.

My last official day at AMS will be the 31st of January.  In February I will be officially starting up my own consulting company, which is rather scary.  I am both looking forward to it and scared to death, but I know it will be for the best in the long run.  Next week I will send out the new launch and put the website live, so much work has gone into the set up phase of this and I am ready for it to be out in the public now!

I am also going in for more surgery on the 6th of February as my new joint isn’t working as it should in my left foot.  They will be putting a titanium screw in my ankle to reduce the movement of the joint and relive the pressure on the toe.  It will be a few long months of recovery again…  but at lease I know what I am getting myself into this time.

This was also supposed to be the year that I resigned from the Cayman Island Crisis Centre fundraising, but my replacement backed out…  so I am right back in the middle of it again. We have our next fundraiser coming up on the 8th of March and we are utilizing my US charity to help with the fundraising.

Here is the link to the US charity we set up last year and were lucky enough to get IRS approval as a 501(c)3 charity-  www.charity.ky

Here is link to our new fundraiser. I have done the first video and will have to start with the promo video this week.  We are hoping to raise $100k for this great cause!

https://www.crowdrise.com/AWalkinHerShoes

I think at this point that is about all going on in my life!  I am trying to remember to take a deep breath and just remember that everything is going to work out as it should.

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Becoming Minimalist

I get a weekly blog from Becoming Minimalist and I wanted to share it:

’Tis the season for unreasonable expectations.

Over the next several weeks, televisions, magazines, and websites will offer us countless images of the “perfect” holiday season.

Beaming faces, sparkling eyes, glistening gifts, and bountiful tables of food will be shown on media platforms of every sort. Many of these images will stand side-by-side with corporate logos and retail stores.

The turkey is from Butterball. The necklace from Kay’s. The soda is Coca-Cola. The toys were purchased at Walmart. The coffee is Folger’s. The slippers are from Kohl’s. And the new vehicle with the red bow in the driveway is a Lexus.

It would seem, from the image on the screen, these items are essential for a perfect holiday. Because obviously, the smiles are bigger, the family is happier, and the lights shine brighter—if, and only if, we buy the consumer product to make it so.

This is not a new strategy from marketers. All year long they communicate the subtle (and not-so-subtle) message that our lives will be better, happier, and more fulfilled if we buy whatever they’re selling.

But their message reaches a fever-pitch during the Holiday Season and nobody is immune to their meticulously crafted persuasion.

I assume one reason for the effectiveness of these ad campaigns is because we all desire a joyful and merry holiday season. We cherish our time with family and want it to be picture perfect. We love our kids and want them to be happy. And we all enjoy times of celebration and desire them to be memorable.

But let’s remember one important truth today: You don’t need any of those things for a perfect holiday season.

You don’t need a new car in the driveway for a perfect holiday season. You don’t need new jewelry for a perfect holiday season. You don’t need slippers. You don’t need a perfectly-decorated 10-foot tree. And you certainly don’t need a large pile of glistening presents underneath it.

You don’t need any of those things for a perfect holiday season.

The holiday season is about family, and thankfulness, and faith and love and peace. It’s about reflecting on the year that was, and looking forward to the year that can be. It’s about counting blessings. It’s about slowing down long enough to appreciate the things in life that matter most.

And too often, the consumeristic promises and fake-photos keep us from enjoying the season. Instead of slowing down, we speed up. We rush from store-to-store (or website-to-website) filling our shopping carts with all the things we think we need. We fill our schedules with increased commitments and responsibilities. We max out our credit cards.

We get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect holiday season that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us.

But Melody Beattie once said, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

Once we slow down enough to notice our blessings, we begin to see that we already have everything we need for a perfect holiday season.

And maybe that is what worries marketers the most… that we would begin to recognize all the things we don’t need for a perfect holiday season.

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HERE ARE 15 POWERFUL QUOTES THAT WILL TOUCH YOUR SOUL:

1. “Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.” – Benjamin Franklin

2. “Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars.” – Serbian proverb

3. “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” – Steven Furtick

4. “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” – Mary Anne Radmacher

5. “You cannot dream yourself into a character: you must hammer and forge yourself into one.” – Henry David Thoreau

6. “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

7. “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.” – Elizabeth Gilbert; Eat, Pray, Love

8. “The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.” – Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch

9. “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman

10. “Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”  – Don Miguel Ruiz

11. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thingyou think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

12. “You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” – Joseph Campbell

13. “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

14. “Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” – Henry Van Dyke

15. “Never be bullied into silence, never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, define yourself.” – Robert Frost

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